It's about mistakes

            Nobody wants to look stupid. Whether you are in a group of friends or you are the friendless one of the group, the one thing that is on your mind is leaving your audience with a good impression. This can not always be done, as we all know, and we put our foot in our mouth far more often than we would like. While this by itself can be embarrassing, it is often our attempt at recovery that can make us look downright foolish. So if it is these attempts that truly show our failings, why do we even try them? Why do we attempt to save-face if it could possibly do nothing but expand our mistakes? It is because we are taught to strive for that "A+" in everything, no matter what the cost.
            Life doesn't come with grades; it's built on relationships. Why do we then strive for "perfection" when the idea of it is different for everyone? We put it in our heads that success is about doing everything right. What we don't see is that progress is much more based on mistakes, those little bumps on the road of life, that steer us towards success. Thomas Edison stated, "I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work."
            Mistakes can really take a toll on a persons ego, but, when treated right, can also be an ego booster; it's all about how you take it. If your mistakes cause you shame, you will never be able to live up to your expectations. If you view your mistakes as a learning experience, you will grow internally towards your goals. If you accept your mistakes, even laugh at them, you can put yourself farther up on the path to being who you want to be. Your mistakes may embarrass you, but you'll never grow from them until you accept what you did and try to not do it again. Self pity doesn't help you here; you need to move onward with a better perspective. The journey to success is a long road of mistakes, but as long as you let each mistake guide you, you'll wind up where you want to be.

It's about staying positive

            Why is it that, no matter how much we try, we all tend to offer negative views of our friends, ourselves, or the world at one time or another? Why do we scorn ourselves just because we have responsibilities? Why is it that, after every little set back in our lives, we resort to belittling ourselves and stating "FML" as if our life is the armpit of the world? Why do we, as Americans, think we have it so bad sometimes while a dozen kids died from hunger in the time it took me to write this sentence? Why?
             Life is full of ups and downs, but for some reason it is the down moments that stick to us the most. We have gotten so complacent with having an easy life that, after every nit-picky thing that happens, we curse the world. Emotional injury is the worst thing that most of us will ever know and, for many, that is enough to drive them to suicide. It's funny to think that, somewhere out there, there is a boy who is in more pain than I could ever imagine from malnutrition and yet pleads for life while a boy down the street begs for death after his girlfriend of two weeks leaves him. How pampered our lives have become.

          What's worst is that all of this is unnecessary. No, I'm not saying that you can stop yourself from getting emotionally hurt, but you can make it through if don't focus on the negativity of your life. It's very easy to wallow in your own self pity, never letting go of your pain, but the great thing about emotional pain is that you have the power to fix it, no doctor required. It's all about staying positive.

          The same way that a cancer patient has much better odds of recovering if they have a positive outlook, we can help ourself overcome our own emotional pain. We need to view the proverbial "finish line" of our situation and concentrate on getting there, looking past how we got here. Just how Olympic athletes are told to focus on the gold, we must focus on getting back to the state of mind where we feel comfortable and happy. Things can help us along, like our friends and loved ones, but it has to be our choice to run to the finish and not wander around the starting gate. While it's hard to look past what has wronged us, and, in truth, we never fully can, it's something that is really essential to do in order to maintain ourselves how we were created to be. So, when your world seems to be falling down, run to the finish line. Maybe when you get there you'll realize that your world isn't as bad as you believed.

It's about strengthening each other

            We all have areas of weakness. Whether it be something we continually do without wanting to, or not doing something because we are afraid or just don't want to, it is something we all struggle with each and every day. Unfortunately, it is hard to expect us to be able to handle these issues on our own; by our own definition, we are too weak. We need help.
            Here is where things get difficult though; just because someone is willing to help you doesn't mean that they can or even should. This comes back to the famous quote by Jesus, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Just because someone isn't suffering from the same ineptitude does not mean that they are the right person to help us, even if they have the desire to do so. Why? Put simply, one way strengthening won't let them worry about their own areas that need growth; you need to strengthen each other.
            What it comes down to is balance. You can't expect someone who doesn't excel in your weaknesses to be able to help you and vice-versa. Whether its compiling a circle of friends to help the next, or finding your perfect opposite, the only way for real growth is to build on each other without weighing them down. Just how you wouldn't build on a weak foundation, you must fill in each others cracks and be both the foundation and tower together.
            It's not easy accepting your own weaknesses, much less sharing them with others. All of our lives we are taught to deal with our own problems and that, "God helps those who help themselves." What we fail to realize is that God is here for the sick, not the well. It's when we realize we are helpless that He most comforts us, and He doesn't do that alone. He has given us all friends or family to help us overcome what holds us back; all perfectly chosen just for you. Opposites attract for a reason; they are the peanut butter to your jelly, but only together can you be greater than the sum of your parts and become the perfect sandwich.


And I'd like to think God enjoys a good PB&J.  :)

It's not about the number

            So many people nowadays put so much emphasis on the numerical representative of someones age. We are all given key ages to get to before we are considered ready for a job, a right, or even personal responsibility. But what do these ages mean? Is it really true that we are not ready to assume our role in society until we fulfill the digital goals we are all given? Yes. And No.
            Many times in our lives we pass points to be accepted into a new category in society. Whether it be teenagers, voters, adults, or senior citizens, we are all placed in categories to describe where we are in life. The problem with this system is that, while it groups us apart to signify we are different, it forgets to unite us in the characteristics we have in common.
            We were all put here for a reason. Whether it's to be teachers, doctors, politicians, mothers, or just friends, we all have a goal and purpose to pursue. No matter the stage in life we are in, we are all working towards being what we are. Yes, the older we get, the more we can do towards our goals, but the goals are still the same.
            What does all this mean? It means age contributes to us and no the other way around. We are free to be who and what we want without the stigma of our birth date. We don't have to let our age or lack-thereof  hinder us from being who we want. The number is there to empower us to move ahead in life and not hold us back. So this year, on your birthday, don't count down towards your goal, count up towards the dreams you've wanted since you were a lowly 1.

It's about looking back on the year

            It's easy to look back on a year and say, "It was just another year." If the saying is that hindsight is 20-20, why is it that we miss all the good things that happened to us over the course of the year. Each and every year is filled with it's own blessings and let downs, but that is what makes each year unique, not the same.
            Blessings come in all shapes and sizes. Whether it's the present you got for your birthday, to the new friend that you made, sometimes it's the things that can change us the most that we cherish the least. Going on this new year, we must be prepared to appreciate everything that we receive no matter how insignificant it seems. If a mustard seed can move mountains, we can never underestimate the power of the small things. God works through ways that still amaze us today, but his most amazing thing he does is the things we forget to thank him for.
            Let downs are a part of life as well and, as much as we might hate to admit it, it is probably the thing that influences us the most. Through the past year we've all had our low moments, moments we thought we might never live down, but here we are today, at the dawn of a new year, and we are still soldiering on. It is not that we need to learn to appreciate the bad parts in life, but we need to learn to acknowledge that we are being put through those times for a reason. God never fails to bring us through the dark to the dawn, but sometimes we forget to thank him for the sunlight afterward.
            We are all here through 365 days of trials. Whether or not we are thankful for where we are or how we got here now, we must never forget to thank God for the year we went through. Each and every day is a gift from God that we don't deserve and, while we might not have appreciated all of them, we must be thankful for all 365 of them.

It's about not compromising

            How often are we taught that we should change things about ourselves to better fit our current situation or circumstance. We are told that in order to make it in this world we will have to settle for something we may not want or to change our plans so that they are more "realistic" and closer to the stereotypical "normal". What we are not told, however, is that we don't have to.
            There is an old saying that states, "The future is what you make it." This saying rings more truth that most people give it credit for as, in most circumstances, you have no one to blame for where you are now except yourself. Yes there are cases where you may have been thrown into a situation that was totally out of your control, but we truly are the shapers of our future.
            Once we get fixed on one goal or one state of mind, that is when the world tells us we are wrong and we must conform to what is "right". When the little boy states he wants to be an astronaut we heartily encourage it, but when the time comes to start working for that goal we are also the first to show that boy something else he should do. When someone has the natural tendency to react a certain way to a situation, we somehow find it our duty to show him the error of his ways even when there was nothing "wrong" with the way they did it. Why? What is so wrong with someone doing something their own way or dreaming big?
            We have to come to the understand that, on both fronts, our own ideas or ways of thinking are our own and we need to keep it that way unless asked. We need to have the courage to defiantly stick to our plan or way of thinking, while having the common decency to not try and influence someone else into our way of thinking. It is our responsibility as humans to be diverse, to differ from one another, and to stick to our guns when we know we are in the "right", and shut our mouth when the other person is in their definition of "right".
            It's not about letting someone live their life without your aid when they are in need of help, but it's also not up to us to correct every wrong we think we see. On the other hand, we also cannot become so fixated on something that we ignore everyone's attempt to help us, but we also need to stand firm in our goals and what we believe to be true. We must learn to never compromise when we know you are right and also to never cause someone to compromise when we may be wrong. Life is only worth living if we are living it as ourselves.

It's about not reading too much into it

"You know it ain't easy for these thoughts to leave me... These feelings won't go away."

            Whenever someone does something or something happens, it is a human tendency to try and read the deeper meaning of the action. Getting "the hint" is what makes up a lot of human interaction and is one way we avoid being directly mean to a person. The problem is, sometimes we read more into something then there is.
            Whether it be semi-sarcastic remark someone just gave you, the cold shoulder from a friend, or the just too long hug from someone of the opposite sex, it's very easy to assume the very extreme cases. Those comments and actions that were meant to be a jest, sign of a bad day, and them just feeling lonely are suddenly transformed into a hateful comment, a sign of a ending friendship, and proof of desire. The unfortunate thing is there is little we can do to prevent it so we must learn to ignore our impulses.
            While we automatically assume the worst, we must trust that the worst is not happening. That isn't to say we should go to the opposite extreme and take everything at face value, but a friend not replying to a text message doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to talk to you, someone not telling you they are safe doesn't mean they are in danger, and a casual "I love you" doesn't mean that they want to get married. Everyone portrays their feelings differently. You need to be prepared to accept that what you think is happening is wrong.

It's about saying the right words

"There are times when the world is rearranging itself and, at times like that, the right words can change the world."

            Life happens at moments of change. The mundane, day to day filler that consumes 99 percent of life means nothing compared to the explosive 1 percent of reform. It might be a death of a loved one, the birth of a child, the end of a relationship, or even the ending of a career, but those moments alter the path on which life is headed. What few people realize however is the great responsibility each of us has as friends of others to impact the lives of those close to us.
            The wrong word at the wrong time has inspired thousands of suicides, relationships to end, and all sorts of negative feedback that could have easily been avoided if someone had said something else. People take for granted the power other people's comments have on them. They stick to the colloquialism "words can never hurt me" and pretend to brush off what others have said when, in reality, those words have just changed the future.
            A kind comment on a still sensitive situation can help push someone out of despair and onward with their life. A comforting phase can heal a broken heart or spirit. A firm stance against something can show someone the error of their ways.
            It's very easy to sit back and say to yourself that they will work it out on their own. The thing is, you don't know that. Your voice could be the one thing they need at that moment. Whether it be towards God, friends, or family, sometimes you need to be the one that pushes. It's not something you are asked to do and sometimes you will even get rebuked for your actions but know this: you will never get this moment back again and, if you miss this one chance, you just may live to regret it.