It's about looking back on the year

            It's easy to look back on a year and say, "It was just another year." If the saying is that hindsight is 20-20, why is it that we miss all the good things that happened to us over the course of the year. Each and every year is filled with it's own blessings and let downs, but that is what makes each year unique, not the same.
            Blessings come in all shapes and sizes. Whether it's the present you got for your birthday, to the new friend that you made, sometimes it's the things that can change us the most that we cherish the least. Going on this new year, we must be prepared to appreciate everything that we receive no matter how insignificant it seems. If a mustard seed can move mountains, we can never underestimate the power of the small things. God works through ways that still amaze us today, but his most amazing thing he does is the things we forget to thank him for.
            Let downs are a part of life as well and, as much as we might hate to admit it, it is probably the thing that influences us the most. Through the past year we've all had our low moments, moments we thought we might never live down, but here we are today, at the dawn of a new year, and we are still soldiering on. It is not that we need to learn to appreciate the bad parts in life, but we need to learn to acknowledge that we are being put through those times for a reason. God never fails to bring us through the dark to the dawn, but sometimes we forget to thank him for the sunlight afterward.
            We are all here through 365 days of trials. Whether or not we are thankful for where we are or how we got here now, we must never forget to thank God for the year we went through. Each and every day is a gift from God that we don't deserve and, while we might not have appreciated all of them, we must be thankful for all 365 of them.

It's about seeing God in the little things

            It's easy to see God move in big ways. When he makes the impossible come to life by saving a life or changing a life, it's hard to deny he is moving. But when He is just orchestrating the background, or just showing us glimpses at his will, we all just tend to ignore it. When we least expect it, He is moving.
            We may not always pay attention, but God, or fate as He is called in the secular world, is always pointing us in the right direction.  It's Him working when you miss the bus to school and you just happen to run into an old friend who needs help, or makes you hit traffic on your way to work so you are fired and find a new job that is better. When we least expect it, He is moving.
            Sometimes though he doesn't he just presents a sign and it's up to our free will to decide to obey or not. While we could have before not helped our friend or accepted the new job, those are things we would normally do if we could; God just set up the situation. But when God sets up a yield sign, it's entirely up to us what we do. Sometimes its the answer to a prayer we didn't want, like a sign of a failing relationship or someone moving away, or just those little coincidences that we shrug off, like just the right song playing when we hit shuffle or the right person calling when we need a friend, that show us down the path God wants us on or that He just wants us out of a situation all together. When we least expect it, He is moving.
            What we need to be careful of is taking every thing that happens to us as an act of God. No, unless you just happen to fall backwards into an open Bible that reveals something you needed to know, God didn't make you stub your toe. Just because He works in mysterious ways doesn't mean he always dropping you hints. We just need to be able to recognize the moments when He speaks and distinguish them from when He isn't. If it isn't pointing us towards Him and where He wants us to be, it probably isn't Him. When we least expect it He is moving, but not everything is a movement.
            We today, as a whole, tend to put God in a box and only bring him out on Sunday mornings, failing to realize that, even when it hurts us, he is working. God doesn't want cookie-cutter Christians, but He also doesn't want us spilling out of the pan, that's why, whenever we need it, He nudges us or points us in the right direction. So go ahead and be a oatmeal-raisin, chocolate-chip, snickerdoodle, or whatever kind of cookie you want in whatever shape you want, but never forget to listen to the things God is telling you... Even when it's just a whisper.

It's easy to talk when no one is listening

            The right words tend to get lost when we are under pressure. Maybe it's the anxiety of making a fool of ourselves in front of others or the lack of time to collect our thoughts but, when the moment is right, we all tend to be at a loss for words. That is why we all vent off camera, out of sight, where no one can see us stumble until we get everything just the way we want. It's not the ideal arrangement, but sometimes the only way to tell the truth is when you are alone.
            Self searching plays a big part in discovering our true emotions and thoughts. Without it we can only go skin deep into ourselves, never reaching the heart of the matter. For many of us that search is through prayer or meditation, some fill time with mind-numbing tasks until it hits them, and others just sit in silence hoping the answers will come. Whatever the method is we all come to our answers, but how we share them is another matter completely.
            Even the most extroverted person fears the people who they admire and seek approval of. For some reason we cannot put our collected thoughts to words that easily, forcing us to seek alternate means of communication. The number of relationships that hide behind a letter or an instant messenger to tell the truth is great, but the number of relationships that go discussed is greater. In some way, form, or fashion, we all need our own way to tell someone else what we are thinking.
            As the song goes, "Every time the time was right all the words just came out wrong, So I'll have to say I love you, in a song." Music is just one form of telling someone the truth. Somehow hiding behind a guitar or a recording is the safety net someone needs to convey what they are thinking, sometimes it's something as simple as a poem, painting, or blog, but one thing is certain; it's something that more of us need to start doing.
            The truth is useless if it is never said. What good is a testimony if it is never told or a song that is never sung? It doesn't matter how we do it or what we do it on, but we all need someway of saying what we think and we need to start telling our thoughts. Trust is the most important thing two people can share, but we need to be willing to share the truth first. I have my blog, poems, and music; what do you have? Whatever it is, you need to start using it. Go ahead: no one is listening.

It's easy to not pursue it

            There are many types of wants and needs in life; the want of possessions, the want or need of attention, and the need of affection just to name a few. The issue with all of these things is that there are many variables that control our ability to get them. We need money to buy something, the courage to stand out and get noticed, or just the openness to love like you want to be loved, but that's not all even these things depend on. Sometimes we ignore our wants and needs because we make ourselves. It's easy to say no when the odds are stacked against us.
            The most obvious thing that comes to mind is possessions. It is so easy nowadays to just put all our dream items, like a car, on a credit card or payment plan and worry about paying later, but we train ourselves to not do so. Why? Because we know that it would be irresponsible, yes, but also because we know that, in the long run, we wouldn't be happy when we can't pay for it and it is taken away. It's easy to say no when the odds are stacked against us.
            Another prime example that effects all of us is the want or, sometimes, need of attention. Whenever we want to be noticed, its very simple to do something either shocking or "comical" just to get attention, but we don't always do that? Again, why? For most people it's the fact that it is not in their nature to act out, but for some it's the shame they feel when a certain someone notices what they did or the rejection from someone who didn't even notice. Yes, we would get attention, but it probably wouldn't be the kind we wanted. It's easy to say no when the odds are stacked against us.
            Something that we all need however is affection. This most basic of human needs is also one of the hardest to get and also the hardest to lose, but we all struggle with it at some point. Some say its as simple as asking for it and getting a parent or close friend to devote time to you, or declaring your affection for someone and hoping they return it to you, and yet we all struggle with doing these things. Why? Unfortunately there are too many answers to list, but some of the reasons would that perhaps, after you ask for affection, the other party would perceive you differently or consider you weak. In the case of returning affection, the fear of rejection if that person did not return their affection is almost unbearable to some, others have a fear of altering their relationship for the worse, while still others "just know" that it wouldn't work out. It's easy to say no when the odds are stack against us.
            However, sometimes it's not so easy. Sometimes that want, desire, or need is so great is so great that it breaks all boundaries of common sense and drives us to go for the goal. It's those moments, when we lay everything out on the line, when life happens. It may not always turn out the way we want it to, but it's the price we pay for living it.  We must never be afraid to follow through with our hearts true desires. While we are often unprepared for what may happen, it's easy to say yes when we want it bad enough.

It's about not compromising

            How often are we taught that we should change things about ourselves to better fit our current situation or circumstance. We are told that in order to make it in this world we will have to settle for something we may not want or to change our plans so that they are more "realistic" and closer to the stereotypical "normal". What we are not told, however, is that we don't have to.
            There is an old saying that states, "The future is what you make it." This saying rings more truth that most people give it credit for as, in most circumstances, you have no one to blame for where you are now except yourself. Yes there are cases where you may have been thrown into a situation that was totally out of your control, but we truly are the shapers of our future.
            Once we get fixed on one goal or one state of mind, that is when the world tells us we are wrong and we must conform to what is "right". When the little boy states he wants to be an astronaut we heartily encourage it, but when the time comes to start working for that goal we are also the first to show that boy something else he should do. When someone has the natural tendency to react a certain way to a situation, we somehow find it our duty to show him the error of his ways even when there was nothing "wrong" with the way they did it. Why? What is so wrong with someone doing something their own way or dreaming big?
            We have to come to the understand that, on both fronts, our own ideas or ways of thinking are our own and we need to keep it that way unless asked. We need to have the courage to defiantly stick to our plan or way of thinking, while having the common decency to not try and influence someone else into our way of thinking. It is our responsibility as humans to be diverse, to differ from one another, and to stick to our guns when we know we are in the "right", and shut our mouth when the other person is in their definition of "right".
            It's not about letting someone live their life without your aid when they are in need of help, but it's also not up to us to correct every wrong we think we see. On the other hand, we also cannot become so fixated on something that we ignore everyone's attempt to help us, but we also need to stand firm in our goals and what we believe to be true. We must learn to never compromise when we know you are right and also to never cause someone to compromise when we may be wrong. Life is only worth living if we are living it as ourselves.

It's about not reading too much into it

"You know it ain't easy for these thoughts to leave me... These feelings won't go away."

            Whenever someone does something or something happens, it is a human tendency to try and read the deeper meaning of the action. Getting "the hint" is what makes up a lot of human interaction and is one way we avoid being directly mean to a person. The problem is, sometimes we read more into something then there is.
            Whether it be semi-sarcastic remark someone just gave you, the cold shoulder from a friend, or the just too long hug from someone of the opposite sex, it's very easy to assume the very extreme cases. Those comments and actions that were meant to be a jest, sign of a bad day, and them just feeling lonely are suddenly transformed into a hateful comment, a sign of a ending friendship, and proof of desire. The unfortunate thing is there is little we can do to prevent it so we must learn to ignore our impulses.
            While we automatically assume the worst, we must trust that the worst is not happening. That isn't to say we should go to the opposite extreme and take everything at face value, but a friend not replying to a text message doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to talk to you, someone not telling you they are safe doesn't mean they are in danger, and a casual "I love you" doesn't mean that they want to get married. Everyone portrays their feelings differently. You need to be prepared to accept that what you think is happening is wrong.

It's about being blunt

"The truth will set you free"

            How often is that quote thrown around with no explanation? We are told that we must always tell the truth, but we are never told it's often much easier to lie. Most people would rather lie to someones face and be nice than to say what they are really thinking and risk retaliation, but what we don't realize is that lies create more lies.
            Now it's true that telling a lie to not hurt someones feelings does not mean you will have to lie again down the road, but what it does mean is that the "keep them happy" lie might cause an emotion or returned comment that would have not been given or felt if we had not lied in the first place. That feeling or gift is lie. Your "white lie" has now become something else entirely and, most likely, will require you to lie again to keep that "happiness" alive.
            There may be a time and place for "white lies", but it's not something you can really take lightly. So ask yourself, is it worth finally breaking the chain later and hurting them much worse later when you could just tell the hard truth now?

It's about saving face

            Not everyone in your life is going to like you. Sometimes it's you fault, sometimes it's not, but there is always something you can do about it.
            We can all in insensitive to others feelings by our actions. Something trivial to us can be very important and upsetting to someone else. An innocent conversation can turn to controversy, an expression can cause uncertainty, and a gift can cause jealousy. The unfortunate thing is that hindsight is 20-20; you can't always predict what someone will think about something you've done. You can, however, try to make amends.
            In most situations and circumstances, an apology will suffice. Pleading innocence (or ignorance) is something most everyone does when we have wronged someone, intentionally or not. Detecting when we have wronged is usually easy to read if you know them well enough however, in some cases, it can be hard to decipher what it is we need to apologize for. We need to be willing to humble ourselves and talk to the one we have wronged about what is bothering them. Only then can you truly give a heartfelt "I'm sorry."
            Sometimes sorry is not enough though. Sometimes words are not enough to mend what a seemingly careless action has broken. Sometimes you must repay the debt. It might be by buying someone lunch or a birthday present but, if you are truly wanting to stay in someones good graces, you may be required to spend time and/or money to show you really care. On a different note, you must also be careful to not overdue it and seem to want to buy friendship or fall into the trap of "over paying back." You want to be their friend, not their personal gift shop.
            And finally, you must come to the realization that it is impossible to please everyone. It is hard to fix a bond that never existed. You can't always make acquaintances forget their first impression. You must be ready to walk away from the situation. It's more hard for some than others, but sometimes the best way to save face is to just leave the problem alone.
            It's impossible to not want to be liked. Human beings are social creatures that live and die on the acceptance of others. It's also impossible to not make mistakes and, when you do, you need to be ready to show weakness to your friends, be steadfast with your enemies, and have the discernment to know the difference. It's your reputation; it's up to you to uphold it.

It's not like there's a guide

            It's not like there is a guide to life. There is no day by day plan to go by, no step-by-step instructions on how to solve problems. Do you know why this is? It's because there is no one answer to anything.
            Everyone is entitled to their own view on the world and their own solution to their own problems. Just because 2+2 equals four in your book doesn't mean it does to someone else. We all go through very similar problems and deal with them in very different ways.
            Stress is one of the main issues everyone shares in common and it is a classic example of how we all cope differently. Someone may go for a run while another may write their feelings down. Some people may just take it all in and never say a word about it when the person next to them cries out for comfort.
            It's not all about knowing we deal with things differently however; it's how to deal with those differences. We can't just ignore them and let everyone solve their own problems but we cannot force them to solve their problems a different way either. We need to learn to help them help themselves.
            What does that mean? It means that we need to learn to accept how someone deals with a situation and then help them in their own way. If someone needs a friend in order to get over something, we need to be that friend. If someone needs to be left alone, we need to honor their need. Someones written notes on a situation are meaningless unless someone offers to read them and make sense of how someone felt. Sometimes people just need a drinking buddy, and that's ok too.
            If we all need to learn something, that one thing would be each other. We can't help someone if we don't know what their problem is, and we can't know how to help until we know how they want to deal with it. Friendship is a learning process. We all need to be open to that.

It's about saying the right words

"There are times when the world is rearranging itself and, at times like that, the right words can change the world."

            Life happens at moments of change. The mundane, day to day filler that consumes 99 percent of life means nothing compared to the explosive 1 percent of reform. It might be a death of a loved one, the birth of a child, the end of a relationship, or even the ending of a career, but those moments alter the path on which life is headed. What few people realize however is the great responsibility each of us has as friends of others to impact the lives of those close to us.
            The wrong word at the wrong time has inspired thousands of suicides, relationships to end, and all sorts of negative feedback that could have easily been avoided if someone had said something else. People take for granted the power other people's comments have on them. They stick to the colloquialism "words can never hurt me" and pretend to brush off what others have said when, in reality, those words have just changed the future.
            A kind comment on a still sensitive situation can help push someone out of despair and onward with their life. A comforting phase can heal a broken heart or spirit. A firm stance against something can show someone the error of their ways.
            It's very easy to sit back and say to yourself that they will work it out on their own. The thing is, you don't know that. Your voice could be the one thing they need at that moment. Whether it be towards God, friends, or family, sometimes you need to be the one that pushes. It's not something you are asked to do and sometimes you will even get rebuked for your actions but know this: you will never get this moment back again and, if you miss this one chance, you just may live to regret it.

It's always about a girl

            What many people do not realize is that, whenever a guy does something, he's always thinking about a girl. Whether or not this influences his decision all the time is debatable but, generally speaking, if a guy is doing something he normally would not do, you can feel safe betting on his motives.  Cleaning his room? Open dorms are coming up. Cologne? He is meeting is hopeful sweetie soon. Wary about who sees what he is writing in his notebook? Someone is getting a sappy note. While these are fairly obvious to most people, it's the discreet hints that people (girls in particular) need to learn to pick up on.
            More than half of all males profess to be bad at flirting but, in reality, it's more than half of females are bad at reading guys attempts at flirting. Girls are almost always the ones complaining that guys don't communicate with them when the truth is that they just don't understand what they are saying. It's not something that can be learned or even changed overnight, but picking up on the little things is what everyone needs to start doing. Whether it be in flirting or apologizing, we all need to start listening.

It's about being yourself

            Life in a dormitory can really change a person. Living in such close proximity of so many people of varying backgrounds and, according to some, varying degrees of insanity can and will affect your world, religious, and personal views. Whether you view this as a positive or a negative, there is only one thing that should be noted; be careful which ideologies you accept. Your unique point of view is one of the fundamental things that makes you you and, if you is not careful, you could be lost in the sea of faces. That is not to say learning and adopting views are all bad; on the contrary, it is that very thing that makes college a growing experience. However, when you lose all sense of self just to fit in or to not be viewed as too different, you can inadvertently become another nameless face.

Never lose sight of who you are because, once you lose yourself, you become impossible to find.

It's about casual friends

            College is more than school, it's about about making connections. The problem some people are having though is that, once a few connections are made, they tell themselves they are happy with what they have. Now if you believe that I'm saying that having a few close friends is wrong, then you'd be making an a** out of you and me (assume...).
            Close friends are the life blood of everyday life, but it's all the memories that we are missing from the casual friends that really make that way of belief inferior. It's the girl you talk to in the lunch line, or the guy who helps you pick up your books. It's the quiet person on your sports team, or the smart person who offers help with your homework. It's not easy to introduce yourself to a complete stranger and invite them to spend time with you (and, depending where you live, the use of caution when picking said stranger is highly advised!), but its those people that can influence your lives the most. Close friends help you find yourself. Casual friends help you find the world.

It's all about being honest

            It's very easy to get carried away. Whether it's with a sport, someone you like, or an addiction, we have all at one time let our emotions get the best of us. A lot of times its actually beneficial for us and maybe even the people around us to let ourselves proceed as we want to; at least at the beginning. Happiness now often leads to sorrow later that would have been avoided if we had stopped ourselves before going too far.
            The sad realization of this however is that, as much as it may affect your life and hurt you, it can often hurt the other person more. We need to learn to be honest with ourselves and others about what we feel and smart about what we do about it if we really want to protect ourselves and others from emotional pain. It's not the most fun answer or way to live life but, in the end, I think it's the most rewarding because its the only way you'll have friends in the end.

It's hard to move forward

For a Friend

            To borrow from a vulgar saying, "S**t happens." The reality of life is that, sadly, this statement is true. So many times in our lives something unexpected comes along that completely catches us off guard and renders us totally helpless. This is the easiest time for us to roll over and feel sorry for ourselves but, in reality, this is actually the time where we need to stand firm in what we know is true and what we believe in.
            We need to stiffen up our upper lip and learn from what happened and, if we need help with that, we have friends, family, and, most importantly, a creator that love us and is there for us. That isn't to say it isn't ok to cry or show our emotions because it is; we just cannot let out emotions control us and weigh us down from moving forward in our lives. We need to learn to sit down, shut up, and let God heal us and our friends help us along while we learn from our mistakes.
            It's never fun but what we need to remember is that it's not where you are or end up that's important, it's all the people and experiences that molded you along the way that made you who you are. The process isn't painless, but the end result is beautiful.

It's not as easy as it looks

            To those who have never lived more that one hour away from home, it's definitely not the same as living closer. When you look at your hamper filling with clothes and think of all the quarters you are going to waste cleaning them, or opening the refrigerator to just see eight cans of soda and water, or even staring at the flashing cursor on your screen while your roommate serenades you with punk girl music, it's a totally different ballgame.

            Now don't get me wrong, living away from home is a definite step up from living at home. Truly being your own master and commander has its distinct advantages, but just knowing you have no place else to go or run to if something goes wrong, or you just need to get away, can take a little getting used to. For most of us, the safety net is a non-issue. We've been living independently at home for so long that all the basics of single living, such as paying bills, cleaning dishes and clothes, and managing our own work, school, and play time, that the transition into solitary living is virtually seamless. At least, on the outside. Inside it's like you are looking for or missing something, but you can't remember what it is. It's not vital to be sure but when you are finally without it, you can't help but wonder why you didn't notice it before.

“I know I'm searching for something; Something so undefined that it can only be seen by the eyes of the blind in the middle of the night.”

It's life in Indiana

            Whoever said college would be a major adjustment to high school was wrong. If anything, college is easier then anyone could have promised/hoped. What I wasn't informed of is what a difference living in a small town makes. And I mean SMALL town. When the college you attend represents 85% of the surrounding population, you know there isn't going to be anything to due outside of the campus. I mean, once they roll up sidewalks at dinner time, the only place to really be is Taco Bell.

            It's kinda like a recent friend of mine said, "Maybe we'll grow on you!" And with all the corn surrounding us, I think that phrase might just be literal. New friends always make the changes more bearable and, with very few exceptions, they have in spades. Maybe everything will just take a little more getting used to (and a few more late night Wal-Mart runs), but hopefully I get through it all ok.

It's a blog

            Why make a blog? It's simple really if you think about it. In the vast online world of Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace, there really is no effective way to express, organize, and/or elaborate on your thoughts. It is true that it is possible to create a "blog" on two of these sites but, being completely honest, they weren't made for that. Do all 300+ people care what I think or don't think about a certain subject, topic, or idea? No. So why should I speak where I am not wanted?

That and my teacher wants us to practice writing in one of these things. :)