It's just the way it is

          Somethings will never change. No matter what you do or say, there will be things in your life that will be outside of your control and, as hard as you might try, you will still try and change it. What is important to remember, though, is that it's not how you react when you encounter something that is outside of your power, it's the state of mind that you rationalize the situation in. What does that mean? It means that it's not how you defend against the situation that is important, it's how you plan the defenses.
          Now I know that you must be thinking that not every situation involves defenses, and you'd be right, but doing nothing about a situation that you have no control over is usually the worst possible option. However, if there is nothing to be done, why should you then do anything at all? The reason is that just because you can't win does not mean that you necessarily have to lose. It's all about changing your perspective.
          When one usually encounters something beyond them, it usually involves or revolves around another person. Whether it be an attitude that doesn't change, a mannerism that won't go away, a rule that won't break, or whatever it may be, the immovable object is usually a human being and, many times, that person is immovable because we either think they are or don't want to show them they aren't. We, as a society, have placed such a high value on personal feelings that we will, more often then not, choose our own discomfort than risk offending someone. This viewpoint, however politically correct it may be, is wrong.
          While I do not believe that our own comfort should ever come before someone else's well being or feelings, we aren't helping anyone by letting every uncomfortable situation stand. We are here on this earth to help each other, but we cannot do that if we are too afraid to do anything because they may feel hurt. But, like I said earlier, it's not how we plan on telling the person, it's how we perceive the situation that we are in.
          We are trained to think of ourselves first but, in this case, this is the worst possible thing we can do. We must try to see the other persons side of the story first and then, and only then, try to see how our viewpoint connects with theirs. Just because someone is wronging you does not mean that they are intentionally doing it, they may just be accustomed to a different manner of social interaction. Just because someone is seemingly ignoring you does not have to mean that you are unimportant, that person may just be unable to give you the attention that you want at the moment. Just because someone is seemingly passing up on time spent with you for others does not have to mean that you are not important, they may have more time critical things that need to be done.
          What do we get by realizing what the other person is seeing the situation as? We can then better understand how our viewpoint is different and then present the differences to the other party. How is this different then a simple confrontation? By doing this, you are more likely to have a calm demeanor when you address the person and also have a better understanding of them so you do not blatantly accuse them of something you think they are doing. Yes, there is still a chance that the person may be offended, but you should never place yourself in the backseat in any relationship. Just because you may not currently be in the drivers seat does not mean that you are not helping to navigate and steer the relationship to where you both want. As soon as we are ready to realize that we need to try and see things as they are before acknowledging our own assumptions, we can prepare to push our unmovable object to where you want and need it to be. An unmovable object is only as steadfast as you allow yourself to make it out to be.