It's not like there's a guide

            It's not like there is a guide to life. There is no day by day plan to go by, no step-by-step instructions on how to solve problems. Do you know why this is? It's because there is no one answer to anything.
            Everyone is entitled to their own view on the world and their own solution to their own problems. Just because 2+2 equals four in your book doesn't mean it does to someone else. We all go through very similar problems and deal with them in very different ways.
            Stress is one of the main issues everyone shares in common and it is a classic example of how we all cope differently. Someone may go for a run while another may write their feelings down. Some people may just take it all in and never say a word about it when the person next to them cries out for comfort.
            It's not all about knowing we deal with things differently however; it's how to deal with those differences. We can't just ignore them and let everyone solve their own problems but we cannot force them to solve their problems a different way either. We need to learn to help them help themselves.
            What does that mean? It means that we need to learn to accept how someone deals with a situation and then help them in their own way. If someone needs a friend in order to get over something, we need to be that friend. If someone needs to be left alone, we need to honor their need. Someones written notes on a situation are meaningless unless someone offers to read them and make sense of how someone felt. Sometimes people just need a drinking buddy, and that's ok too.
            If we all need to learn something, that one thing would be each other. We can't help someone if we don't know what their problem is, and we can't know how to help until we know how they want to deal with it. Friendship is a learning process. We all need to be open to that.

It's about saying the right words

"There are times when the world is rearranging itself and, at times like that, the right words can change the world."

            Life happens at moments of change. The mundane, day to day filler that consumes 99 percent of life means nothing compared to the explosive 1 percent of reform. It might be a death of a loved one, the birth of a child, the end of a relationship, or even the ending of a career, but those moments alter the path on which life is headed. What few people realize however is the great responsibility each of us has as friends of others to impact the lives of those close to us.
            The wrong word at the wrong time has inspired thousands of suicides, relationships to end, and all sorts of negative feedback that could have easily been avoided if someone had said something else. People take for granted the power other people's comments have on them. They stick to the colloquialism "words can never hurt me" and pretend to brush off what others have said when, in reality, those words have just changed the future.
            A kind comment on a still sensitive situation can help push someone out of despair and onward with their life. A comforting phase can heal a broken heart or spirit. A firm stance against something can show someone the error of their ways.
            It's very easy to sit back and say to yourself that they will work it out on their own. The thing is, you don't know that. Your voice could be the one thing they need at that moment. Whether it be towards God, friends, or family, sometimes you need to be the one that pushes. It's not something you are asked to do and sometimes you will even get rebuked for your actions but know this: you will never get this moment back again and, if you miss this one chance, you just may live to regret it.

It's always about a girl

            What many people do not realize is that, whenever a guy does something, he's always thinking about a girl. Whether or not this influences his decision all the time is debatable but, generally speaking, if a guy is doing something he normally would not do, you can feel safe betting on his motives.  Cleaning his room? Open dorms are coming up. Cologne? He is meeting is hopeful sweetie soon. Wary about who sees what he is writing in his notebook? Someone is getting a sappy note. While these are fairly obvious to most people, it's the discreet hints that people (girls in particular) need to learn to pick up on.
            More than half of all males profess to be bad at flirting but, in reality, it's more than half of females are bad at reading guys attempts at flirting. Girls are almost always the ones complaining that guys don't communicate with them when the truth is that they just don't understand what they are saying. It's not something that can be learned or even changed overnight, but picking up on the little things is what everyone needs to start doing. Whether it be in flirting or apologizing, we all need to start listening.

It's about being yourself

            Life in a dormitory can really change a person. Living in such close proximity of so many people of varying backgrounds and, according to some, varying degrees of insanity can and will affect your world, religious, and personal views. Whether you view this as a positive or a negative, there is only one thing that should be noted; be careful which ideologies you accept. Your unique point of view is one of the fundamental things that makes you you and, if you is not careful, you could be lost in the sea of faces. That is not to say learning and adopting views are all bad; on the contrary, it is that very thing that makes college a growing experience. However, when you lose all sense of self just to fit in or to not be viewed as too different, you can inadvertently become another nameless face.

Never lose sight of who you are because, once you lose yourself, you become impossible to find.

It's about casual friends

            College is more than school, it's about about making connections. The problem some people are having though is that, once a few connections are made, they tell themselves they are happy with what they have. Now if you believe that I'm saying that having a few close friends is wrong, then you'd be making an a** out of you and me (assume...).
            Close friends are the life blood of everyday life, but it's all the memories that we are missing from the casual friends that really make that way of belief inferior. It's the girl you talk to in the lunch line, or the guy who helps you pick up your books. It's the quiet person on your sports team, or the smart person who offers help with your homework. It's not easy to introduce yourself to a complete stranger and invite them to spend time with you (and, depending where you live, the use of caution when picking said stranger is highly advised!), but its those people that can influence your lives the most. Close friends help you find yourself. Casual friends help you find the world.

It's all about being honest

            It's very easy to get carried away. Whether it's with a sport, someone you like, or an addiction, we have all at one time let our emotions get the best of us. A lot of times its actually beneficial for us and maybe even the people around us to let ourselves proceed as we want to; at least at the beginning. Happiness now often leads to sorrow later that would have been avoided if we had stopped ourselves before going too far.
            The sad realization of this however is that, as much as it may affect your life and hurt you, it can often hurt the other person more. We need to learn to be honest with ourselves and others about what we feel and smart about what we do about it if we really want to protect ourselves and others from emotional pain. It's not the most fun answer or way to live life but, in the end, I think it's the most rewarding because its the only way you'll have friends in the end.

It's hard to move forward

For a Friend

            To borrow from a vulgar saying, "S**t happens." The reality of life is that, sadly, this statement is true. So many times in our lives something unexpected comes along that completely catches us off guard and renders us totally helpless. This is the easiest time for us to roll over and feel sorry for ourselves but, in reality, this is actually the time where we need to stand firm in what we know is true and what we believe in.
            We need to stiffen up our upper lip and learn from what happened and, if we need help with that, we have friends, family, and, most importantly, a creator that love us and is there for us. That isn't to say it isn't ok to cry or show our emotions because it is; we just cannot let out emotions control us and weigh us down from moving forward in our lives. We need to learn to sit down, shut up, and let God heal us and our friends help us along while we learn from our mistakes.
            It's never fun but what we need to remember is that it's not where you are or end up that's important, it's all the people and experiences that molded you along the way that made you who you are. The process isn't painless, but the end result is beautiful.

It's not as easy as it looks

            To those who have never lived more that one hour away from home, it's definitely not the same as living closer. When you look at your hamper filling with clothes and think of all the quarters you are going to waste cleaning them, or opening the refrigerator to just see eight cans of soda and water, or even staring at the flashing cursor on your screen while your roommate serenades you with punk girl music, it's a totally different ballgame.

            Now don't get me wrong, living away from home is a definite step up from living at home. Truly being your own master and commander has its distinct advantages, but just knowing you have no place else to go or run to if something goes wrong, or you just need to get away, can take a little getting used to. For most of us, the safety net is a non-issue. We've been living independently at home for so long that all the basics of single living, such as paying bills, cleaning dishes and clothes, and managing our own work, school, and play time, that the transition into solitary living is virtually seamless. At least, on the outside. Inside it's like you are looking for or missing something, but you can't remember what it is. It's not vital to be sure but when you are finally without it, you can't help but wonder why you didn't notice it before.

“I know I'm searching for something; Something so undefined that it can only be seen by the eyes of the blind in the middle of the night.”

It's life in Indiana

            Whoever said college would be a major adjustment to high school was wrong. If anything, college is easier then anyone could have promised/hoped. What I wasn't informed of is what a difference living in a small town makes. And I mean SMALL town. When the college you attend represents 85% of the surrounding population, you know there isn't going to be anything to due outside of the campus. I mean, once they roll up sidewalks at dinner time, the only place to really be is Taco Bell.

            It's kinda like a recent friend of mine said, "Maybe we'll grow on you!" And with all the corn surrounding us, I think that phrase might just be literal. New friends always make the changes more bearable and, with very few exceptions, they have in spades. Maybe everything will just take a little more getting used to (and a few more late night Wal-Mart runs), but hopefully I get through it all ok.

It's a blog

            Why make a blog? It's simple really if you think about it. In the vast online world of Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace, there really is no effective way to express, organize, and/or elaborate on your thoughts. It is true that it is possible to create a "blog" on two of these sites but, being completely honest, they weren't made for that. Do all 300+ people care what I think or don't think about a certain subject, topic, or idea? No. So why should I speak where I am not wanted?

That and my teacher wants us to practice writing in one of these things. :)