It's about staying positive

            Why is it that, no matter how much we try, we all tend to offer negative views of our friends, ourselves, or the world at one time or another? Why do we scorn ourselves just because we have responsibilities? Why is it that, after every little set back in our lives, we resort to belittling ourselves and stating "FML" as if our life is the armpit of the world? Why do we, as Americans, think we have it so bad sometimes while a dozen kids died from hunger in the time it took me to write this sentence? Why?
             Life is full of ups and downs, but for some reason it is the down moments that stick to us the most. We have gotten so complacent with having an easy life that, after every nit-picky thing that happens, we curse the world. Emotional injury is the worst thing that most of us will ever know and, for many, that is enough to drive them to suicide. It's funny to think that, somewhere out there, there is a boy who is in more pain than I could ever imagine from malnutrition and yet pleads for life while a boy down the street begs for death after his girlfriend of two weeks leaves him. How pampered our lives have become.

          What's worst is that all of this is unnecessary. No, I'm not saying that you can stop yourself from getting emotionally hurt, but you can make it through if don't focus on the negativity of your life. It's very easy to wallow in your own self pity, never letting go of your pain, but the great thing about emotional pain is that you have the power to fix it, no doctor required. It's all about staying positive.

          The same way that a cancer patient has much better odds of recovering if they have a positive outlook, we can help ourself overcome our own emotional pain. We need to view the proverbial "finish line" of our situation and concentrate on getting there, looking past how we got here. Just how Olympic athletes are told to focus on the gold, we must focus on getting back to the state of mind where we feel comfortable and happy. Things can help us along, like our friends and loved ones, but it has to be our choice to run to the finish and not wander around the starting gate. While it's hard to look past what has wronged us, and, in truth, we never fully can, it's something that is really essential to do in order to maintain ourselves how we were created to be. So, when your world seems to be falling down, run to the finish line. Maybe when you get there you'll realize that your world isn't as bad as you believed.

It's just the way it is

          Somethings will never change. No matter what you do or say, there will be things in your life that will be outside of your control and, as hard as you might try, you will still try and change it. What is important to remember, though, is that it's not how you react when you encounter something that is outside of your power, it's the state of mind that you rationalize the situation in. What does that mean? It means that it's not how you defend against the situation that is important, it's how you plan the defenses.
          Now I know that you must be thinking that not every situation involves defenses, and you'd be right, but doing nothing about a situation that you have no control over is usually the worst possible option. However, if there is nothing to be done, why should you then do anything at all? The reason is that just because you can't win does not mean that you necessarily have to lose. It's all about changing your perspective.
          When one usually encounters something beyond them, it usually involves or revolves around another person. Whether it be an attitude that doesn't change, a mannerism that won't go away, a rule that won't break, or whatever it may be, the immovable object is usually a human being and, many times, that person is immovable because we either think they are or don't want to show them they aren't. We, as a society, have placed such a high value on personal feelings that we will, more often then not, choose our own discomfort than risk offending someone. This viewpoint, however politically correct it may be, is wrong.
          While I do not believe that our own comfort should ever come before someone else's well being or feelings, we aren't helping anyone by letting every uncomfortable situation stand. We are here on this earth to help each other, but we cannot do that if we are too afraid to do anything because they may feel hurt. But, like I said earlier, it's not how we plan on telling the person, it's how we perceive the situation that we are in.
          We are trained to think of ourselves first but, in this case, this is the worst possible thing we can do. We must try to see the other persons side of the story first and then, and only then, try to see how our viewpoint connects with theirs. Just because someone is wronging you does not mean that they are intentionally doing it, they may just be accustomed to a different manner of social interaction. Just because someone is seemingly ignoring you does not have to mean that you are unimportant, that person may just be unable to give you the attention that you want at the moment. Just because someone is seemingly passing up on time spent with you for others does not have to mean that you are not important, they may have more time critical things that need to be done.
          What do we get by realizing what the other person is seeing the situation as? We can then better understand how our viewpoint is different and then present the differences to the other party. How is this different then a simple confrontation? By doing this, you are more likely to have a calm demeanor when you address the person and also have a better understanding of them so you do not blatantly accuse them of something you think they are doing. Yes, there is still a chance that the person may be offended, but you should never place yourself in the backseat in any relationship. Just because you may not currently be in the drivers seat does not mean that you are not helping to navigate and steer the relationship to where you both want. As soon as we are ready to realize that we need to try and see things as they are before acknowledging our own assumptions, we can prepare to push our unmovable object to where you want and need it to be. An unmovable object is only as steadfast as you allow yourself to make it out to be.

It's God

          It's hard to believe in something that is wrong. Putting your faith in something that is full of errors would be a foolish and costly mistake. People would never walk over a bridge that had no supports or had holes in it, and the same is true with the spiritual side of life. While people can say that the Bible is 100 percent true because it is showing us God and God is 100 percent true, this is false. The Bible is 100 percent true because God made it so.
          As we can see in God's Word in John 1:1, the Bible is not just the sayings of God or the actions of God, it is God. While the translations now will differ and the wording may have changed, the original writings that were passed through the writers were inerrant and literally God putting himself down on paper. Time and time again the Bible has been fact checked and, each and every time, has been proven correct. You can find fault in His word as easily as you can find fault in Him.
          Why then are not all “holy books” this way? Well, sadly, just because you were born in year 500 BC and write about God does not mean that God is writing through you. Yes, many of these books contain much that we can learn from, but we cannot claim what has come from men as 100 percent fact.
          The main thing to differentiate from the Bible and all “holy” writings is, bluntly, the author. Yes, the scribe was different, but the dictator of His word was the same. We can all rest easy that, like it says in Matthew 5:18 and like God Himself, His word will never change.

It's about strengthening each other

            We all have areas of weakness. Whether it be something we continually do without wanting to, or not doing something because we are afraid or just don't want to, it is something we all struggle with each and every day. Unfortunately, it is hard to expect us to be able to handle these issues on our own; by our own definition, we are too weak. We need help.
            Here is where things get difficult though; just because someone is willing to help you doesn't mean that they can or even should. This comes back to the famous quote by Jesus, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Just because someone isn't suffering from the same ineptitude does not mean that they are the right person to help us, even if they have the desire to do so. Why? Put simply, one way strengthening won't let them worry about their own areas that need growth; you need to strengthen each other.
            What it comes down to is balance. You can't expect someone who doesn't excel in your weaknesses to be able to help you and vice-versa. Whether its compiling a circle of friends to help the next, or finding your perfect opposite, the only way for real growth is to build on each other without weighing them down. Just how you wouldn't build on a weak foundation, you must fill in each others cracks and be both the foundation and tower together.
            It's not easy accepting your own weaknesses, much less sharing them with others. All of our lives we are taught to deal with our own problems and that, "God helps those who help themselves." What we fail to realize is that God is here for the sick, not the well. It's when we realize we are helpless that He most comforts us, and He doesn't do that alone. He has given us all friends or family to help us overcome what holds us back; all perfectly chosen just for you. Opposites attract for a reason; they are the peanut butter to your jelly, but only together can you be greater than the sum of your parts and become the perfect sandwich.


And I'd like to think God enjoys a good PB&J.  :)

It's not just flowery language

             When we hear the words "flowery language," what most likely goes through our heads is the sweet nothings we all associate with relationships. To the parties involved in the conversation, these words are sweeter then honey and are deeply encouraged in most situations. To parties not involved, however, these words are most revolting thing that could be said. What we all miss though is the importance of such language in everyday situations, not just intimate relationships.
            What we must first realize is what  flowery language really is: embellishing for the sake of emphasis of a specific point (also known as a hyperbole). Something we don't acknowledge though is the abundance of situations that we all use it in and how it helps us to communicate truth to someone, even though embellishing is, at its heart, lying.
            When your good friend is having a bad day, it is not uncommon to tell them that you would do anything for them. Would you really do anything for them? If they told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it? Of course not, but it conveys to them that you really do care. When you tell your significant other that your love burns hotter then a thousand suns, it really doesn't. It's just their way of putting into words something abstract. When your boss says he will give you the boot if your performance doesn't improve, you don't consider ignoring him to get free footwear.    
            Outside of birthday surprises, there aren't many occasions where lying isn't frowned upon but flowery language is definitely one of them. We have all become so accustomed to using it that, until someone else uses it front of us, we tend to be oblivious to it. That doesn't mean we can just not use it however. Sometimes telling your friend that you care or your partner you love them isn't enough; even if it is the truth. Sometimes true words cannot express what we feel. So next time you hear a sweet nothing, never forget that, while maybe not in the same context, you do the same thing too. Sometimes the only way to express what needs to be said is in beautiful lie.
          

It's not about the number

            So many people nowadays put so much emphasis on the numerical representative of someones age. We are all given key ages to get to before we are considered ready for a job, a right, or even personal responsibility. But what do these ages mean? Is it really true that we are not ready to assume our role in society until we fulfill the digital goals we are all given? Yes. And No.
            Many times in our lives we pass points to be accepted into a new category in society. Whether it be teenagers, voters, adults, or senior citizens, we are all placed in categories to describe where we are in life. The problem with this system is that, while it groups us apart to signify we are different, it forgets to unite us in the characteristics we have in common.
            We were all put here for a reason. Whether it's to be teachers, doctors, politicians, mothers, or just friends, we all have a goal and purpose to pursue. No matter the stage in life we are in, we are all working towards being what we are. Yes, the older we get, the more we can do towards our goals, but the goals are still the same.
            What does all this mean? It means age contributes to us and no the other way around. We are free to be who and what we want without the stigma of our birth date. We don't have to let our age or lack-thereof  hinder us from being who we want. The number is there to empower us to move ahead in life and not hold us back. So this year, on your birthday, don't count down towards your goal, count up towards the dreams you've wanted since you were a lowly 1.