It's not like there's a guide

            It's not like there is a guide to life. There is no day by day plan to go by, no step-by-step instructions on how to solve problems. Do you know why this is? It's because there is no one answer to anything.
            Everyone is entitled to their own view on the world and their own solution to their own problems. Just because 2+2 equals four in your book doesn't mean it does to someone else. We all go through very similar problems and deal with them in very different ways.
            Stress is one of the main issues everyone shares in common and it is a classic example of how we all cope differently. Someone may go for a run while another may write their feelings down. Some people may just take it all in and never say a word about it when the person next to them cries out for comfort.
            It's not all about knowing we deal with things differently however; it's how to deal with those differences. We can't just ignore them and let everyone solve their own problems but we cannot force them to solve their problems a different way either. We need to learn to help them help themselves.
            What does that mean? It means that we need to learn to accept how someone deals with a situation and then help them in their own way. If someone needs a friend in order to get over something, we need to be that friend. If someone needs to be left alone, we need to honor their need. Someones written notes on a situation are meaningless unless someone offers to read them and make sense of how someone felt. Sometimes people just need a drinking buddy, and that's ok too.
            If we all need to learn something, that one thing would be each other. We can't help someone if we don't know what their problem is, and we can't know how to help until we know how they want to deal with it. Friendship is a learning process. We all need to be open to that.

It's about saying the right words

"There are times when the world is rearranging itself and, at times like that, the right words can change the world."

            Life happens at moments of change. The mundane, day to day filler that consumes 99 percent of life means nothing compared to the explosive 1 percent of reform. It might be a death of a loved one, the birth of a child, the end of a relationship, or even the ending of a career, but those moments alter the path on which life is headed. What few people realize however is the great responsibility each of us has as friends of others to impact the lives of those close to us.
            The wrong word at the wrong time has inspired thousands of suicides, relationships to end, and all sorts of negative feedback that could have easily been avoided if someone had said something else. People take for granted the power other people's comments have on them. They stick to the colloquialism "words can never hurt me" and pretend to brush off what others have said when, in reality, those words have just changed the future.
            A kind comment on a still sensitive situation can help push someone out of despair and onward with their life. A comforting phase can heal a broken heart or spirit. A firm stance against something can show someone the error of their ways.
            It's very easy to sit back and say to yourself that they will work it out on their own. The thing is, you don't know that. Your voice could be the one thing they need at that moment. Whether it be towards God, friends, or family, sometimes you need to be the one that pushes. It's not something you are asked to do and sometimes you will even get rebuked for your actions but know this: you will never get this moment back again and, if you miss this one chance, you just may live to regret it.

It's always about a girl

            What many people do not realize is that, whenever a guy does something, he's always thinking about a girl. Whether or not this influences his decision all the time is debatable but, generally speaking, if a guy is doing something he normally would not do, you can feel safe betting on his motives.  Cleaning his room? Open dorms are coming up. Cologne? He is meeting is hopeful sweetie soon. Wary about who sees what he is writing in his notebook? Someone is getting a sappy note. While these are fairly obvious to most people, it's the discreet hints that people (girls in particular) need to learn to pick up on.
            More than half of all males profess to be bad at flirting but, in reality, it's more than half of females are bad at reading guys attempts at flirting. Girls are almost always the ones complaining that guys don't communicate with them when the truth is that they just don't understand what they are saying. It's not something that can be learned or even changed overnight, but picking up on the little things is what everyone needs to start doing. Whether it be in flirting or apologizing, we all need to start listening.

It's about being yourself

            Life in a dormitory can really change a person. Living in such close proximity of so many people of varying backgrounds and, according to some, varying degrees of insanity can and will affect your world, religious, and personal views. Whether you view this as a positive or a negative, there is only one thing that should be noted; be careful which ideologies you accept. Your unique point of view is one of the fundamental things that makes you you and, if you is not careful, you could be lost in the sea of faces. That is not to say learning and adopting views are all bad; on the contrary, it is that very thing that makes college a growing experience. However, when you lose all sense of self just to fit in or to not be viewed as too different, you can inadvertently become another nameless face.

Never lose sight of who you are because, once you lose yourself, you become impossible to find.

It's about casual friends

            College is more than school, it's about about making connections. The problem some people are having though is that, once a few connections are made, they tell themselves they are happy with what they have. Now if you believe that I'm saying that having a few close friends is wrong, then you'd be making an a** out of you and me (assume...).
            Close friends are the life blood of everyday life, but it's all the memories that we are missing from the casual friends that really make that way of belief inferior. It's the girl you talk to in the lunch line, or the guy who helps you pick up your books. It's the quiet person on your sports team, or the smart person who offers help with your homework. It's not easy to introduce yourself to a complete stranger and invite them to spend time with you (and, depending where you live, the use of caution when picking said stranger is highly advised!), but its those people that can influence your lives the most. Close friends help you find yourself. Casual friends help you find the world.